Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Resolutions Or Goals?

My son asked me the other day if I had any New Year Resolutions this year. I responded that I don`t make resolutions. I make goals. I write them down and then I track my progress and I get things done. I may not accomplish every goal but I do seem to get more things finished than many people.
A resolution is a firm decision to do or not to do something. Shouldn`t every decision be resolute? Why bother making a decision if you are going to be wishy-washy about it?

Make A Decision
If I decide I am driving across town I do it. If I decide I will no longer smoke, I quit smoking. Why complicate the matter? A few years ago I did quit smoking. I was physically addicted so it was not an easy decision. I knew I needed to make the decision for a while, and I put it off because I knew it would be difficult. Once I decided though there was no changing my mind. Why waste time changing my mind? Addiction just meant it would take a few tries. I decided, therefore it was a done deal. I worked on it until I succeeded. That is what one does when they make a decision.

When I was in my early twenties I had a fantastic mentor named Russ.  He told me that people would follow me if I was resolute in my decisions. If I could not convince myself that I had the answer and continually changed my mind, why would anyone follow that? Why should they?
There is statement of wisdom that comes from the book of James in the Bible. It says that a double-minded man will receive NOTHING from God. Why? Because he can’t even decide what to ask? He can’t decide what he wants. He can’t decide what to work on. One day he is planning to buy a business. The next day he wants to move to another city. Then he thinks about getting a job, but first he will knit some slippers. Nothing gets done. He goes from one little task to another, perhaps completing a few things so he deceives himself that he is getting somewhere. No resolution in decision making brings nothing to fruition. This person can’t bless himself with anything finished, never mind have God bless him.

Resolution, Goals And Wasting Time
Firstly let your “yes” be a “yes” and your “no” be a “no.” Be resolute in that. You will get more done and others will at least know where you stand and then they can decide if they want to get on the wagon with you or not.

Secondly set goals that you actually intend on working on.
Recently I had Murielle Clements a very good life coach give me a consultation. It was amazing. She nailed the areas of life that I needed to work on and it was really a very productive time. I realized that I needed work in my family life, my relationships, my career, my finances and my health. However, I also realized that there was no way I could work on all of those things at once. I like to work on one thing at a time when it comes to self-improvement. So I picked one thing. One thing I will work on this year. There are other times when I can work on other things. She loved that I knew that. Most people think they can do it all at once, and most people are no better at all at once than I am.

At work or in business we need to set goals. In our personal lives we may be able to focus on one other area, but do one at a time. It makes your goals more achievable. You can’t train for a marathon, audition for The Voice, be a CEO of a start-up company, and be the dart champion at the local pub. So many people try to do all of that AND run 4 kids to soccer, volley ball, ballet, art lessons, and piano. What are you thinking? The kids will be more successful too if you teach them this. Pick one thing at a time and set goals with that one thing.
It is a waste of time to make resolutions and to make goals if I have no intention of changing. What is the point of writing my goals down if I am going to put them into my desk drawer and hide them away? Why say that my resolution is to lose weight if I know I am not going to make time to go to the gym right now? That is just a waste of time and money if I buy a membership and some diet shakes. I have zero intention of following through.

Ask yourself if you are serious and if it is even a feasible goal right now? Will it fit into your life to make the necessary changes? Would it be better to wait until spring when a brisk morning walk is a more likely exercise that will get completed?
Setting Goals Is An Easy Thing To Do

Setting goals is not rocket science. Just write them down. Keep them in front of you. Look at them often. It is actually like using a grocery list when you go shopping. Keep it simple.
Make a 1 year goal and then break that into 90 day chunks. So now what do you have to do in the next quarter to prepare you for success in the bigger picture of one year? Make a To Do List.

Use a journal. Write at the beginning of the journal “This year I am going to be a better ____________.” Every time you have a thought about it write it in the journal. Write your goals in there. Record a few lines out of a book that you are reading about that subject. Keep that journal handy. When you go to a course on the area that you need to improve, use that journal to keep notes. Ask your mentor questions about that area of life and write their answers in your journal. Use it all year. You will be surprised how much you change and how much closer you get to your bigger goal.

Get others to hold you accountable. Use a system for your business like Manifast to keep everything together and get it all done in stages, or join the CIBN MasterMind Level so you can get the help that you need to move forward at brainstorming sessions.

Failing At Goal Setting
Everyone fails at goal setting. Get over it. Stop beating yourself up for failure. So what!

Anyone who has never failed, has never tried anything worthwhile.
Why are people so afraid of failure? Why are they afraid to try? Why are they afraid to write goals down because it may be embarrassing if someone sees their failure? Why are they afraid that others will mock their goals? Why would you even care what someone else thinks?

I pay my bills. NOBODY ELSE. Who pays your bills? So why would you care what their opinion is? You have to look at you in the mirror every day. You are not competing with anyone but your own previous performance. You are not obligated to react to another person’s judgement of you. Their opinion is irrelevant. Most of them don’t care anyway, we just “think” they have an opinion. In reality we don’t even occur to them. We did not make the list of important things for them to interfere with today. We were not even in their thoughts. Our own vanity makes us think they are focused on us and our own fear keeps us paralyzed. (I know I am pretty harsh, but it is true, isn't it?)
Fear is faith in reverse. It tells you that everything bad will happen. It is irrational. It stunts your growth and binds you from succeeding. Get over it. Put one foot in front of the other. Write your goals down. Break them into nice bite-sized pieces and get going. One step at a time. You will fail. You will succeed. You will fail some more. Then you will learn and you will succeed some more. Two steps forward, and one step back. Over and over again until you winning more than you are losing.

Start Today
Get out your pen. Don’t just make a resolution. Make some goals.

Always Loyal2U,

Kerry George

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